Friending policy is open (like a revolving door). If you want to friend me, go for it. I may or may not add you back, depending on our interests and such.

I post all fanfiction here, which is not locked. I also post about my life on here when I get the urge to. Sometimes I rant. Sometimes I rec things.

For 30 Seconds to Mars fic only, go to demon_deception - A fan journal I share with judas_denied. For Supernatural fic only, go to lustmordred. This is the journal I use to read things with, comment with (mostly), and post anything and everything else. ALL fanfiction will be on this journal as well, if you're into everything I'm into or you like reading everything, then this is the place. Otherwise, you might like one of the other journals better.

Below is a list of all of my fan fiction, in one place, for your convenience and mine. Hope you enjoy it.

( Make yourself comfortable and stay a while. )

Title: A Bleak Understanding in Reverse
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warning(s): Incest, language, character death
Notes: Wrote this in a little less than a week, but I think it turned out well./ Beta edited by cerberus_sky.
Summary: It was strange to think that life without monsters could still kill them...

It started with birdsong. Sam was taking a shower and he heard it in the running water. He stood there listening to it until the water had run cold and Dean started banging on the bathroom door. It was pretty music, it reminded him of some oriental story he'd read as a kid about a king and a nightingale. Except the nightingales were in the spray, piercing his skin with their beaks, sliding like hot needles down his back. Once he heard them it was like that gave them power and he could feel them. Their feathers slipping down his spine like fans caressing his bones. The beat of their wings upset the beat of his heart and confused his blood. Every cell in his body was an immaculate crystal.

Hey, y'all, just have a few minutes on line and thought I should probably share this with anyone who might be interested.

superstitiousme read Once as Soft as Water and made an iPod fic out of it and you can go get it here. It's pretty cool.

Title: Once as Soft as Water
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Slash, incest

He remembers weighing it in his mind, which would give out first, Dean or his beloved Impala. Used to be Sam would bet every penny he had and his soul too on Dean outliving that damn car. He was always too fucking mean to die easy. He's not so sure now and it scares the hell out of him.

Uh, look. I did a cut to my F-list. Kind of a huge one. Thing is, I'm not sure I did it right. SO... If you've changed your screen name in the last few months and I really do know you, please tell me. I think a few people may have done this and then I just cut them and I might not have wanted to, and... so tell me so I can fix it if that's the case.

Reason I cut people... I'm not being mean and saying omg, I don't want to play with you anymore. What happened is I ended up with a bunch of people on there that I don't know, which makes it really weird when I'm reading along and going "Who the fuck are you and where did you come from?" I mean, if they said anything to me, I might get to know who they are in a way, but they don't, so I don't know them, and consequently I don't care to read about their laundry, kids, angsty whatever... And since they don't say anything to me, doesn't seem like they want to read about mine either. But if I should know you and I'm just being a forgetful idiot (which I will admit is entirely possible), please speak up and accept my apology.

Also, cut a lot of people that I have nothing in common with anymore. I am not in Harry Potter anymore and a lot of those people still are and I scroll on by every post you make because it has Scorpius/Albus squee in it and EW. I'm not interested in you, stands to reason you're not all that interested in me. So I took out my cyber scissors and cut the cord.

The rest of you... Well, most that are left will stay because they either have like interests with me now or because I love you lots and you're just not getting rid of me EVER. But I still am not sure about some because I don't recognize their names, so I'm going to look at them more thoroughly later and see.

I'm really sorry if this, for some reason, hurts your feelings. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, I swear. But I'm here for fandom stuff mostly and if your interests are not my interests, then why are we stalking each other? If you got cut and still want to read my fic, you can still stay and read my fic. Fic is not locked on this journal. What's locked is other stuff about me and what I'm doing etc. Which I doubt anyone is interested in anyway.

Did this for the Brothers on a Motel Bed meme. And I totally fail at being concise, but fuck it, I knew that already.

Rated: NC-17
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: S&M with mentions of bloodplay.

( Graveyard )

Title: Through a Glass Darkly
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17 (if not higher)
Warnings: Attempted suicide, bestiality, blasphemy, bondage, D/s, dark themes, dead characters that don’t stay that way, Evil Sam, H/C, insanity, language, S&M, torture, violence
A/N: The dog, Harvey, is named after the dog by the same name accused of driving David Berkowitz insane./ Banner made for me by judas_denied.

He wonders that love so wretched can still, after all, be love. Even when it’s not the monster under his bed he’s afraid of; it’s the one in it.

Title: Strange Days
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars
Pairing: Shannon/Jared
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Self mutilation, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, graphic imagery that some may find disturbing (or arousing, depending on how you're bent)

Good morning, Don't cop out...

Title: Ashes of Poisonous Slumber
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars
Pairing: Shannon/Jared
Rated: R
Warnings: Self mutilation, mental illness
Disclaimer: Yeah, I know they’re not doing it. This made baby Jesus sad for a little while, but he got over it.

A child in a clown costume gave Jared an apple for Halloween one year.

Title: Would You Offer Your Throat to the Wolf?
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars
Pairing: Tim/Jared
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Um... sex(?)
Notes: Title inspired by the first line of the song "You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth" by Meatloaf. Quote is #415 at the_dark_garden. Title banner made for me by judas_denied, and it is made of fucking awesome ♥

Jared doesn’t know that sometimes Tim watches him sleep.

Authors: lucilla_darkate with judas_denied
Title: Beneath the Skin of the Rose Pt. III
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars (kind of)/ Other RPS
Pairing: Jared Leto/Rob Thomas
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Violence, Language. Warnings will go up/be modified with each part.
Disclaimer: I know they're not actually doing it. I just think it would be hot if they did.
Notes: This is based on the fairytale Beauty and the Beast and its many incarnations./ JD did the graphics, which I love.


Scanning the page, a word caught his eyes and Shannon said, “Hmm.” as he studied the spell. It was a tiny thing, a mere five letters and nothing more. No spell that short was ever difficult, so Shannon deemed it okay and turned away from the page, looking for something to try it on. Not finding anything he felt was altogether suitable, he just threw both of his arms out to the side as he yelled, “SPRIT!”

Title: Failure to Fly by J.J. Snowangel
Fandom: 30StM
Pairing: Shannon/Jared
Rated: R
Warnings: Slash, language, alcoholism, death, insanity, disturbing themes
Notes: Had a conversation with JD one night where we came to the conclusion that I tend to write stuff inspired by poetry and she does music. So we sort of challenged ourselves/each other to turn it around. This was inspired by the song Wintersong by Sarah McLachlan.// Banner made by judas_denied.

Jared found a tree out back of the house that he called Merlin because it was naked and twisted, like an old man reaching for the sky. He climbed it once and sat up there all day alone until the stars came out. When he came down, he smiled at Shannon and it was a true smile. He said the tree was special; it dreamed that it was a man. He said he wrote a song about it, but then he ate it. He said he thought about hanging his gods from the branches of the special man-dreaming tree, but there were too many and it would take too long.

Authors: lucilla_darkate with help from judas_denied
Title: Beneath the Skin of the Rose Pt. II
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars/ RPS
Pairing: Jared Leto/Rob Thomas
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Violence, Language. Warnings will go up/be modified with each part.
Disclaimer: I know they're not actually doing it. I just think it would be hot if they did.
Notes: This is the first portion of a VERY long fic that is based on the fairytale Beauty and the Beast and its many incarnations./ JD did the graphics, which I love.

He gritted his teeth against a scream as, even before his very eyes; the light retreated farther across the floor, sucking away the sun to make room for the blackness of night. His spine twisted and his jaws cracked, falling open and leaving drool streaming from his mouth to land on the worn stone floor. Jared fell to his knees, a scream rising in his throat as his muscles snapped like rubber bands.


Authors: judas_denied and lucilla_darkate
Title: It’s All Over, Baby Blue: Chapter Six
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars/Letocest
Pairing: Shannon Leto/Jared Leto
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Violence, Incest, Language, Self Injury. Warnings will go up/be modified with each chapter.
Disclaimer: We know they're not actually doing it. We just think it would be hot if they did.
Notes: We intended to post this once it was completely finished, but decided to say screw it and go ahead and post. BUT, this is about one or two chapters away from finished. So, yea!

As Shannon watched, Jared lifted his arm and reached back with the cigarette to touch the cherry to his back between his shoulders. He slid his thumb along his skin, feeling for the scar at the center of his back and then pressed the cigarette ember into it. The pain of it made Jared catch his breath and tremble, but he ground the butt into his back, making the burning tobacco and paper hiss against his skin, then smolder in the wet of his flesh.


There are a few other new things posted over at demon_deception, just poke around a bit.

Title: Melt to Brilliance
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jared Leto/Rob Thomas
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Slash, language, alcoholism, (mild) S&M


Jared first meets him in a little liquor store in L.A. One of those tiny little hidden things set in a corner just outside an alley, often overlooked by the other shops beside it, like it’s ashamed to be there, trying to melt into the brick and graffito and disappear.

Title: Graves Beyond Windows
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Incest, language, violence, character death
Notes: Beta judas_denied. Used for quote #401 at the_dark_garden.

Summary: To gaze upon the graves beyond windows… That wound, that star, got to get up, got to see where you are…

Authors: judas_denied and lucilla_darkate
Title: It’s All Over, Baby Blue: Chapter Five
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars/Letocest
Pairing: Shannon Leto/Jared Leto
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Violence, Incest, Language, Minor Character Death. Warnings will go up/be modified with each chapter.
Disclaimer: We know they're not actually doing it. We just think it would be hot if they did.

Summary: Shannon smiled a little as he thought back to when they were both little, back when things like this were not even a part of their wildest; off the wall worries and being imaginative children, he recalled they’d had some real bitches.

Previous Chapters Here

Title: The Great Roots of Night
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing(s): Sam/Lenore, Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Slash, het, violence, some language, vampirism
Notes: Major spoilers for “Bloodlust” and minor spoilers for “Dead Man’s Blood”. Beta edited by judas_denied.

( “Will he love you still, do you think? If you’re a monster like those he hunts with such… determination and hatred? Or will he put a knife in you and watch you die and feel nothing because you’re not human anymore? What do you think, Sammy?” )

Authors: judas_denied and lucilla_darkate
Title: It’s All Over, Baby Blue: Chapter Four
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars/Letocest
Pairing: Shannon Leto/Jared Leto
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Incest, Language. Warnings will go up/be modified with each chapter.
Disclaimer: We know they're not actually doing it. We just think it would be hot if they did.

Summary: He could feel the rough scabs from Shannon’s split lip beneath his and he pressed harder against them, not in an effort to cause Shannon undue pain but with the strange notion that he would tattoo the marks onto his own flesh, make Shannon’s wounds his own.

Previous Chapters Here

Authors: judas_denied and lucilla_darkate
Title: It’s All Over, Baby Blue
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars/Letocest
Pairing: Shannon Leto/Jared Leto
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Incest, Dub-Con, Language and Violence. Warnings will go up/be modified with each chapter.
Disclaimer: We know they're not actually doing it. We just think it would be hot if they did.
Summary: Watch the sparrow falling, gives new meaning to it all, if not today nor yet tomorrow then some other day. I'll take seven lives for one.

Previous Chapters Here