Friending policy is open (like a revolving door). If you want to friend me, go for it. I may or may not add you back, depending on our interests and such.

I post all fanfiction here, which is not locked. I also post about my life on here when I get the urge to. Sometimes I rant. Sometimes I rec things.

For 30 Seconds to Mars fic only, go to demon_deception - A fan journal I share with judas_denied. For Supernatural fic only, go to lustmordred. This is the journal I use to read things with, comment with (mostly), and post anything and everything else. ALL fanfiction will be on this journal as well, if you're into everything I'm into or you like reading everything, then this is the place. Otherwise, you might like one of the other journals better.

Below is a list of all of my fan fiction, in one place, for your convenience and mine. Hope you enjoy it.

( Make yourself comfortable and stay a while. )

Title: Forgive This Darkness
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: John/Sam
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: Incestuous overtones, language, pedophilia (Sam is 16)
Word Count: 4,472 (this part)
Notes: This is a WIP. Sam/Dean stuff will creep in a bit later, also. And the rating on this is going up as it progresses. Way up.
Summary: When Sam was sixteen, he was bitten by a rattlesnake and everything changed. If John had to pick a moment where it happened, where everything that went wrong between them got its start; that would be it.

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So I got my grade back for my first essay in this stupid baby English class and I got a C. I am seriously sitting here so pissed off about this I could scream. I worked on that paper, I revised the rough draft just like the professor said it needed to be, I did everything right on it and I was pretty confident that I had a solid paper there. I have never gotten a C on an English paper in my fucking life.

"There is a problem with structure - you tend to circle back over the same ground, and not always substantively. A revision ought to focus on tightening up the structure, integrating related points and moving some paragraphs that naturally transition to other points. This paper receives a C; it's a solid passing paper, with a better one lurking inside. If you want to revise, I'll allow that, and encourage you to meet with me to plan it."

What the fuck ever. Seriously, I read her comments on the rough draft, I revised it accordingly, then this? This is bullshit. And yeah, I probably will meet with her, if for no other reason than to tell her how much bullshit I think it is.

Talking to my roommate, she says that the problem with these earlier English classes--the ones you have to pass to take the big kid courses--is that they don't want you trying to be creative. Okay, but maybe if I was getting too creative, someone should have told me that was a bad thing sooner. I'm supposed to dumb myself down to get an A. That's so fucking retarded, there aren't really even words. But fine, I can be as stupid as the next dipshit if I put my mind to it. No more of this actually trying in this class shit for me. Nuh uh. Minimum required word count is 500 words (ffs) on these essays. That's exactly what the fuck she's getting from me from now on. I'm not wasting my time and effort.

And to top it off, I'm sadly, not all that surprised. Annoyed as fuck with myself for expecting anything else, but eh. Not surprised much at all.

Title: A Little Dream
Pairing: Jareth/Sarah
Rated: PG (maybe)
Notes: Written for a prompt in comment_fic. Not beta edited, sorry. Also, it's been a few years since I wrote in this fandom, so if I fucked it up, I apologize.
Summary: Sarah never really ever escaped the maze.

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Title: There Goes the World
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Word Count: 5,000
Warnings: Apocalypse fic, language, angst, incest
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, just the words.
Notes: Beta edited by judas_denied. Story inspired by In the Middle by Theory of a Deadman, which I have been listening to on repeat a lot lately *ahem* Yes, I am pathetic. I'm okay with that.
Summary: Sam isn't invited to this new Paradise the angels are building, and Dean isn't going without him.

The distant rumble of crumbling stone and the hum of two million angel voices vibrated in the floor and the walls, making the bed tremble and the glass of water on the nightstand shake. Somewhere out there, God was throwing sinners into the fiery pit to set the foundation of Paradise.

Title: Deep Six and Counting
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Castiel
Rated: PG-13
Word Count: 1,100
Warnings: Um… none, really. Except maybe blood drinking.
Summary: Castiel’s been down in the pit a long time. Now he has company.

Read More…

Don't know how long, but I'm not going to be around for a while. I'm going to try to cut back on the internet itself and this includes LJ and fandom. I've had my priorities really... skewed, and consequently, I'm fucking everything up. I've been letting the important shit take a back seat to the things I would rather be doing and I realized today that a lot of those things I would rather be doing don't really matter that much. So I'm giving them up for the indeterminable future. May be a week, may be a month, but for now, I'm out.

Catch you all later.

Title: Under Covenant of Working Grace
Fandom: Supernatural
Rated: PG-13 (Gen)
Pairing(s): None, only subtext
Characters: Sam, Castiel, Chuck, Dean, Bobby
Warnings: character death (haunting), language, mentions of violence
Word Count: 5,963
Disclaimer: Characters and such are not mine, only the words.

Sam can leave Dean’s stuff in his room and go in there sometimes to open the windows, telling Bobby he’s airing it out and when Bobby asks for who, he’ll say for Dean. That’s okay. Just like the paper in the locks is okay. It just is.

Title: Backwards Sometimes
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Incest, rough sex, dead babies, angst, language and spoilers for S4.
Word Count: 17,600
Notes: The quote is from a blog (I don’t know who the author is) called I Wrote This For You. It was going to be a short fic, one in a series of them I was planning to write based on this author’s stuff. But, like a baby monster, it grew. I still may write other ones, though. I’m pretty pleased with how this one turned out.

I always thought that I was sick and you were the cure. But everyone gets things backwards sometimes.

Title: Every Time You Hurt
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Disclaimer: Yes.
Word Count: 5,385
Warnings: PWP, S&M, blood fetish (?), knife-play, blood-play
Summary: Sam’s sick with demon blood withdrawal and Dean thinks of a way to help him. At least it starts that way.


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I xposted this but I can't fucking believe I forgot to post it to my own journal. Jesus. Anyway, this is rather short and there's not a single hint of sex anywhere to be found, so surprise. But I still flatter myself enough to think it's good and worth reading, so there ya are.

Title: The Only Way To Get There (Is To Go Straight Down)
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: AU (as of last season), hints of incest, a few naughty words.
Word Count: 1,800
Disclaimer: Do not own, blah, blah, blah…
Summary: Sam is awakened by demons in the middle of the night. They’re excited about a certain visitor.

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Title: This Bewildering House
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: incest, attempted suicide, demonic possession
Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own the characters. Except the Devil. That one's mine.
Notes: I had a lot of fun writing this. It amused me so much that I was laughing as I was writing sometimes. I hope that you enjoy it too when you read it. If not, well I must have a more twisted sense of humor than I thought, but eh. So it goes.

When the Devil first started talking to him, Sam had thought it was strange that he had to ask Sam questions and didn’t just pluck the answers from his mind. But after a while he’d figured out that for some reason, it didn’t seem to work like that. Satan could set up housekeeping all he wanted, but it looked like the doors to all of the closets where Sam kept his precious secrets had locks on them. Thank God—or whoever—for small mercies.

Title: A Bleak Understanding in Reverse
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warning(s): Incest, language, character death
Notes: Wrote this in a little less than a week, but I think it turned out well./ Beta edited by cerberus_sky.
Summary: It was strange to think that life without monsters could still kill them...

It started with birdsong. Sam was taking a shower and he heard it in the running water. He stood there listening to it until the water had run cold and Dean started banging on the bathroom door. It was pretty music, it reminded him of some oriental story he'd read as a kid about a king and a nightingale. Except the nightingales were in the spray, piercing his skin with their beaks, sliding like hot needles down his back. Once he heard them it was like that gave them power and he could feel them. Their feathers slipping down his spine like fans caressing his bones. The beat of their wings upset the beat of his heart and confused his blood. Every cell in his body was an immaculate crystal.

Hey, y'all, just have a few minutes on line and thought I should probably share this with anyone who might be interested.

superstitiousme read Once as Soft as Water and made an iPod fic out of it and you can go get it here. It's pretty cool.

Title: Once as Soft as Water
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Slash, incest

He remembers weighing it in his mind, which would give out first, Dean or his beloved Impala. Used to be Sam would bet every penny he had and his soul too on Dean outliving that damn car. He was always too fucking mean to die easy. He's not so sure now and it scares the hell out of him.

Uh, look. I did a cut to my F-list. Kind of a huge one. Thing is, I'm not sure I did it right. SO... If you've changed your screen name in the last few months and I really do know you, please tell me. I think a few people may have done this and then I just cut them and I might not have wanted to, and... so tell me so I can fix it if that's the case.

Reason I cut people... I'm not being mean and saying omg, I don't want to play with you anymore. What happened is I ended up with a bunch of people on there that I don't know, which makes it really weird when I'm reading along and going "Who the fuck are you and where did you come from?" I mean, if they said anything to me, I might get to know who they are in a way, but they don't, so I don't know them, and consequently I don't care to read about their laundry, kids, angsty whatever... And since they don't say anything to me, doesn't seem like they want to read about mine either. But if I should know you and I'm just being a forgetful idiot (which I will admit is entirely possible), please speak up and accept my apology.

Also, cut a lot of people that I have nothing in common with anymore. I am not in Harry Potter anymore and a lot of those people still are and I scroll on by every post you make because it has Scorpius/Albus squee in it and EW. I'm not interested in you, stands to reason you're not all that interested in me. So I took out my cyber scissors and cut the cord.

The rest of you... Well, most that are left will stay because they either have like interests with me now or because I love you lots and you're just not getting rid of me EVER. But I still am not sure about some because I don't recognize their names, so I'm going to look at them more thoroughly later and see.

I'm really sorry if this, for some reason, hurts your feelings. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, I swear. But I'm here for fandom stuff mostly and if your interests are not my interests, then why are we stalking each other? If you got cut and still want to read my fic, you can still stay and read my fic. Fic is not locked on this journal. What's locked is other stuff about me and what I'm doing etc. Which I doubt anyone is interested in anyway.

Did this for the Brothers on a Motel Bed meme. And I totally fail at being concise, but fuck it, I knew that already.

Rated: NC-17
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: S&M with mentions of bloodplay.

( Graveyard )

Title: Through a Glass Darkly
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rated: NC-17 (if not higher)
Warnings: Attempted suicide, bestiality, blasphemy, bondage, D/s, dark themes, dead characters that don’t stay that way, Evil Sam, H/C, insanity, language, S&M, torture, violence
A/N: The dog, Harvey, is named after the dog by the same name accused of driving David Berkowitz insane./ Banner made for me by judas_denied.

He wonders that love so wretched can still, after all, be love. Even when it’s not the monster under his bed he’s afraid of; it’s the one in it.

Title: Strange Days
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars
Pairing: Shannon/Jared
Rated: NC-17
Warnings: Self mutilation, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, graphic imagery that some may find disturbing (or arousing, depending on how you're bent)

Good morning, Don't cop out...

Title: Ashes of Poisonous Slumber
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars
Pairing: Shannon/Jared
Rated: R
Warnings: Self mutilation, mental illness
Disclaimer: Yeah, I know they’re not doing it. This made baby Jesus sad for a little while, but he got over it.

A child in a clown costume gave Jared an apple for Halloween one year.